How amusing it is to teach people how to handle things in a nicer way when we’re the ones who don’t use it personally. For the past few weeks, I seriously thought the problem lies with me, but no. It’s OUR ego which caused us to be in this manner. Men got their ego to speak of, so am I. To me, it’s merely a text yet Rachel told me that sms will cause me in deep shit. I’ll be falling for him, the one which had me fooled. I always thought that tolerating each other will solve the problems, but ‘tolerating’ is already another problem. Contradicting much. So, I’ve moved on. Hunting for a husband material guy. I really wished to settle down asap to start my own family. I may be too young to think of all these, but that’s what I wanted. I think I’ve met more than enough of unsuitable guys, god bringing my husband to be, soon. 

Im just done with my attachment. A very stressful one. Went through a lot of hurdles just to get over& done with it. Being looked down by someone doesn’t feels good. I felt so demoralized, I felt like I’m not suitable for this career. I seriously want to prove everyone wrong, the more they belittle me, the stronger is my urge to overwrite their stereotyping. I’ve failed to show more concern to my grandma when she’s alive& my future working environment is the only place I can divert all my unused attention to those elderly. I felt so attached to my previous ward for attachment is bcos they reminded me of my grandma. My heart goes to their helplessness in them. I need to find ways to motivate myself to strive for more. 

Just texted mom a mushy sms before I got home. I think she will use that sms to disturb me for the next few days. Like who cares.

Goodnight everyone.